The final part 3 from Ego is the Enemy, one of my favorite books that I’ve read this year. I think I’ll read it again next year! The section was titled Failure.

We don’t need pity – our own or anyone else’s – we need purpose, poise patience.

Ego loves this notion, the idea that something is “fair” or not. Psychologist call it narcissistic injury when we take personally totally indifferent and objective events.

Whether what you’re going through is your fault or your problem doesn’t matter, because its yours to deal with right now.

Pity isn’t necessary. Their identity isn’t threatened. They can get by without constant validation.

Alive Time or Dead Time?

…there are two types of time in our lives: dead time, when people are passive and waiting, and alive time, when people are learning and acting and utilizing every second.

Yes, it would feel much better in the moment to be angry, to be aggrieved, to be depressed or heartbroken… this moment is not your life. But it is a moment in your life. How will you use it?

Make us of what’s around you. Don’t let stubbornness make a bad situation worse.

The Effort is Enough

This whole chapter reminds me of Seth Godin’s book that I finished a couple of weeks ago. Just because you don’t know what to expect from others doesn’t mean you should not create your work.


In his eyes, he was just doing his job — one he believed was his sacred duty — He knew that he did it well. He knew he had done what was right. That was enough.

He could not control whether his work was appreciated or whether it aroused suspicion.

So what are we going to do? No be kind, not work hard, not produce, because there is a chance that it wouldn’t be reciprocated? C’mon.

This is why we can’t let externals determine whether something was worth it or not. It’s on us.

Fight Club Moments


We’re so afraid to lose our own esteem or, God forbid, the esteem of others, that we contemplate doing terrible things.

But change begins by hearing the criticism and the words of the people around you. Even if those words are mean spirited, angry, or hurtful.

In the end, the only way you can appreciate your progress is to stand on the edge of the hole you dug for yourself, look down inside it, and smile fondly at the bloody claw prints that marked your journey up the walls.

Draw the Line

He found himself in a hole and kept digging until he made it all the way to hell.

Have the courage to make a full stop.

Most trouble is temporary…these positions are transitory, not statements about your value as a human being.

He who will do anything to avoid failure will almost certainly do something worthy of a failure.

Maintain Your Own Scorecard

You’re not as good as you think you are. You don’t have it all figured out. Stay focused. Do better.

Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of — that’s the metric to measure yourself against.

…it’s not about what you can get away with, it’s about what you should or shouldn’t do.

Always Love


Attempting to destroy something out of hate or ego often ensures that it will be preserved and disseminated forever.

You know what is a better response to an attack or a slight or something you don’t like? Love.

You could try at the very least to let it go. You could try and shake your head and laugh about it.

The soul that is within me no man can degrade. I am not the one that is being degraded on account of this treatment, but those who are inflicting it upon me.

Have these strong feelings really helped you to accomplish anything?… Are we going to be miserable just because other people are?

This obsession with the past, with something that someone did or how things should have been, as much as it hurts, is ego embodied. Everyone else has moved on but you can’t because you can’t see anything but your own way.